Variations of Vampires

 What is a vampire?

It's a topic of academic controversy. Sure, everyone can agree that the pasty fellow who can't come out in sunlight and needs to drink blood is a vampire, but what is it in those traits that makes them a vampire?

Sabre-toothed cats have fangs, but they aren't vampires. Lampreys feed primarily on blood, but they aren't vampires. Spectres lose their power in sunlight, and they even have a life-draining attack, but they aren't vampires.
(Unless they are)

Like most things, it's a matter of academic debate. The Church holds that vampire is any being which both drains the blood of victims, and is harmed by sunlight. Other variations may still be demons, but not specifically vampires. To the primarily cave-dwelling Dueregar, sensitivity to sunlight loses most of its meaning, and most people will agree that something is a vampire as long as its some sort of undead that feeds on blood. To the people of Illearth, drinking blood is an extreme blasphemy, and they don't really care what you are, because most things die just fine when you burn them at the stake. 

The academics will probably never stop fighting about this. That's just the way they are. Good for them, but not for the rest of us. Most of us have a vague idea of what a vampire is, and nailing down the exact specifics isn't high on our priority list. So, here's a bunch of vampires or vampire-like monsters for you to argue over the status of, you academic bastards.

Carnivorous Water:

You remember this from my last article? The one I published literally last night?
I think this was the strongest idea on it, and now I'm developing it more.

"Carnivorous Water" is just the common name, but its a fairly accurate one. The substance inside isn't technically water, but it acts like water, and they are carnivorous.

Carnivorous Water is an sort of psuedo-ooze, because unlike true oozes, it is not acidic, nor is it a single-celled organism. Instead, Carnivorous Water corresponds closer to an undead, in that it is normally non-living material that is held together and animated by magic. When you smack Carnivorous Water with a hammer, it responds like a really strong water balloon. It'll ripple and move, even bend inwards, but you won't break the surface. This is the magic which holds it together. Once that magical energy runs out, it loses all cohesion, and with that cohesion, its life. 

This ability is selective. The barrier naturally strengthens in response to being struck, exerting just enough energy to stop the strike from breaching the surface, but it can also be selectively weakened in order to absorb objects. What is it absorbing?Well, that's where the carnivorous part comes in. Carnivorous Water isn't a summoned creature, so it can't rely on a constant flow of energy from its creator to keep it alive. As it turns out, blood holds quite a bit of energy, and in comparison to magical artifacts, blood is abundant. But how does it get the blood? It could scavenge, but that's inefficient and overly luck based. Instead, Carnivorous Water absorbs sharp objects. Any sharp object will do. Pointed rocks, rusty nails, discarded teeth, an entire fucking sword, as long as it can draw blood, it's useful. It hunts by ambush, hiding sitting somewhere inconspicuous until some prey comes along, then bursting out and attempting to engulf the prey. If this succeeds, the Water will then swirl around its insides and let all the debris it's managed to collect carve up the unfortunate victim. Once the Water is satisfied with its meal, it just slithers off to convert the collected blood into energy. This is when they're at their most vulnerable - Hunting takes energy, and the splashes of red destroy any sort of natural camouflage the Water might enjoy.
The Water is an animal, and isn't averse to fleeing if it feels like sticking around isn't worth the risk, there's an easier source of food nearby, or even if it just feels full. If you're carrying around a bucket of blood, simply splash any Water that seems to threaten you, and the beast will just sit still and digest its meal. No need for a difficult hunt when food is being quite literally thrown at it.
Elephants often keep Carnivorous Waters, either as pets or to use them as war-beasts against humanoids. You can stab an elephant with a knife, and your knife will just embed harmlessly into the skin. Rusty nails hardly pose any sort of threat to them.

If you use these, please come up with a better name for them than "Carnivorous Water", and then please tell me that name, because "Carnivorous Water" is a terrible name. I will 100% edit the article to include that name.

Amentique Vampires:

Ay, things that everyone can recognize as vampires!
For the most part, Amentique Vampires fit the basic concept of a vampire. They're pale, ethereal creatures that feed on blood and have weird powers. They can't turn into wolves or bats or anything of that sort, but they can transform into mist, and they're the sort of vampire you might expect to see sailing upon a moonbeam.
Unlike the traditional vampire, they tend to be a bit off in the head. Amentique Vampires are often seen hanging around fey, and it has been speculated that the bloodline was originated by some fey meddling. They're nomadic, travelling just as often in small groups as they do alone. Many prefer to interact with people before feeding on them. To an Amentique Vampire, feeding shouldn't be a calculated act of predation, but instead the culmination of a wondrous night of dance and revelry. Comics, poets, musicians, dancers, casanovas - Whatever and Amentique does, they'll do it so well that you'll barely care when they bite you. 
You shouldn't mistake revelry for genuine affection, but neither should you always assume that genuine affection does not exist. In Afary, a common folk tale is that of a abused girl, visited by an Amentique. So moved is the Amentique by both her tragic tale and grace in revelry that he rescues her away her family, and takes her as his bride. On the other side of the world, in Chalea, another tale speaks of a young man, scorned by his community for perceived femininity. After being visited by an Amentique of noble standing, the young man awakens to find a sword forged of moonlight left behind as a parting gift. This story is often used in Chalea to explain why homophobia is stupid and wrong, because Chalea is the gay capital of the world. Heterosexuality is seen as distasteful, and childbearing is seen as an ugly yet necessary practice. Chalea has a fair few stories like this, but this one, often called "The Amentique Stranger", is one of the most popular. As a consequence, the people of Chalea have very positive feelings about the Amentique.

Aesthetically speaking, the Amentique aren't really Gothic. They love moonlight, and their clothing is often primarily white. If you want an example of someone who is aesthetically Amentique, check out David Bowie during the Thin White Duke era. Hell, the Thin White Duke as a whole might make a good basis for an evil Amentique, and it gives you an excuse to look at David Bowie, a thing which I will never turn down.
The Amentique are some of the best moon-smiths in the world. If you want someone to weave you a cloak out of moonlight, the Amentique would be top candidates. The only issues are finding the Amentique, and then finding something that they'd actually accept as payment.
In some parts of the world, people will say that someone feeling especially sluggish and tired was "Danced with an Amentique", the same way we might say someone "Got up on the wrong side of the bed." Like, "Ay, don't worry about Doracas, e' was just visited by an Amentique. I'm sure e'll be better in no time."

Auctor Vampires:

Auctor Vampires are weird. They're one of the types that is nigh-universally recognized as vampires, but compared to most other variations, they're really quite weak. Generally thought to have originated an experimental attempt to achieve immortality, they are, in that regard, mostly a success. Their lifespans are most likely indefinite, and at the very least immensely extended. They are capable of entering a torpor state to remain inactive for large periods of time, but this is risky, as they can't wake up at will, and the exact length of a torpor is imprecise. The margin of error is around 5% more or less time than they originally intended to sleep for.
As for powers... They don't really have much. Any humanoid victim drained entirely as blood reanimates as a zombie in perpetuity, but the zombies are stupid, clumsy, and often make it much more difficult to hide in populated areas. On the bright side, they don't have many weaknesses, either. Sunlight is irritating, but not crippling. A stake through the heart or beheading will still kill them, but for the same reason those things can kill any humanoid. They have no exceptional defenses, methods of healing, powers of transformation, nothing. For many Auctor, vampirism can feel more like a crippling food allergy.
They can't even reproduce normally. The only Auctor capable of turning others are the "Progenitor" Auctor, of which very few exist. The only way to become a Progenitor is to kill an existing one and consume their blood.
This puts the Auctor in a very tricky situation. The number of Progenitors can never increase, but it is quite capable of decreasing. Every time a Progenitor is killed and no other Auctor manages to feed on their blood, there's simply one less Progenitor in the world. Unless someone discovers how to create new Progenitors from scratch, which seems very unlikely, the Auctor are a doomed race, simply counting down the time they have left before extinction.
DM Note: These are vampires as a PC race, largely based on the vampire race 5e gave us in "Plane Shift: Zendikar". I did my best to make them less setting-dependent and a bit more interesting, but at the core, this is the stat sheet you hand to a player that wants to play a vampire from 1st level.

Final Note:

Christ, I had a lot more to say than I expected. I'm far from out of ideas, but this post is already long enough. Just be aware that this is probably going to be a series, because vampires are interesting creatures to fuck around with.

I hope you're happy, Zoë.

I got high and ate a kitten

 fUCK you, I WILL EAT ANOTHER.

I'M NOT IMITATING SCRAP PRINCESS, THIS IS SIMPLY HOW I CREATE.

Also I need to make myself look morally righteous again so HERE ARE FIVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF HORRIBLE, KITTEN-EATING MONSTERS

Werewolf-wolf:

It's like a werewolf, but instead of being a guy, it's a wolf. On nights of the full moon it turns into a bigger, scarier wolf, and then kills a bunch of shit. The local town goes into panic because "Oh God there's a werewolf, he could be anyone" but it's just a regular wolf who gets really buff sometimes.

Hole:

It's a fucking hole, but it moves. You trip and fall in a hole and it eats your fucking leg. You're walking along and then a hole is moving towards you and you're really confused for a second and then BAM IT EATS YOUR FUCKING LEG.

You can't stab it, because it doesn't have a body, it's made up of negative space. You beat it by filling it up, probably with rocks.

Carnivorous Swan:

Literally exactly what it sounds like. It's a swan, but it's carnivorous. Technically, swans are already carnivorous sometimes, but this one wants to eat you in particular. Genuinely fucking terrifying, if you've ever been attacked by a swan. Those fuckers will slap you with their neck, and your arm will break before their neck will.

Carnivorous Water:

Water that eats you. It does this with teeth. It is water filled with teeth, and it wants to eat you, especially if you are a kitten.

Kitten-beast:

It looks like a kitten, from a distance. For all intents and purposes, you'd never know it's not a kitten, until it opens its mouth.

It's not a kitten, but when its mouth is closed, it looks basically kitten-like. Really, its mouth is at the end of a very long tentacle, and the full body lives beneath the ground. If you try to pet it, it will open in half and then fucking eat it.

Like a Wolf-In-Sheeps-Clothing, but bigger, and also a kitten.

Imma Fucking Stupid

School is hard, and also I have severe ADHD.

These two things in combination will serve as my excuse for every future vanishing act I pull.

Also, this is my blog, and I write it because I want to. I do not owe it anything, and I am perfectly within my rights to stop whenever I want. It just happens that I didn't actually want to stop in my most recent disappearance, I was just eaten up by schoolwork.

AN EXTENSION

 MY PRIEVIOUS POST, AND BY EXTENSION, EVERY INSULT CONTAINED THERIN AND THEROUT, ARE FURTHERMORE TO BE DIRECTED AT LE DUM DUM'S PALACE.

COME ON, YOU LACKADASICAL TWIDDLE-TWADDLER! HAVE AT YE! RETURN MY SERVE!

A MOST SERIOUS AND GRIM CHALLENGE

 UPON THE HONOR OF ALL NINETY-TWO OF MY ONE-EARED ANCESTORS, I NOW CHALLENGE THE OWNER OF ALL THESE TEDIOUS THINGS, BE HE NOT A CRAVEN AND WORTHLESS FOOL, TO THE MOST HOLY AND PRECIOUS OF GAMES, TO A GREAT AND ALMIGHTY WAR OF IMAGE PING PONG.

THOU KNOWEST THE RULES WELESTHTST ENOUGH ALREADY, AND SO I GIVE THOUST MINE SERVE!

WHAT, GOOD SER, HEREBY THISETH DEPICTION SHALL BE CREATED OF?

Vytrius, who is Beautiful and Mad

Vytrius

Vytrius is a town, and it is also a person. 

The town is composed of four parts, and I am going to talk about all of them sequentially, and then the person.

The City

Vytrius is an old city, and a prosperous one. It is one of the most stable places in the world, and its borders have remained almost unchanged for the past few hundred years. This is due almost entirely to its patron, who is powerful enough to scare off most incursions, but has no particular interest in expansion. The combination of posing no particular threat to anyone and everyone knowing exactly who lives there is quite effective.

The fourth circle of Vytrius is unassuming. It isn't technically part of the city proper and sits outside its walls, but most say it belongs there. You'll primarily find caravans, mercenaries, and most anyone else you'd see in a trading square. You might wonder why it sits outside the walls, but the answer quickly becomes obvious.

The third circle of Vytrius is where the actual city begins. 

Nothing ugly is allowed within the walls. No ugly people are permitted entrance. No items deemed ugly, no matter how valuable, are allowed into the city. 
Any contraband is taken, destroyed, and its owner is fined. Anyone found in the city who are not up to its standards are imprisoned and executed.

The guard are professionals, specially trained to judge books by their covers, and are often called upon to serve as judges during competitions, pageants, or petty disputes.

Besides that, the city itself is quite wonderful. The people are made friendly and generous by their comfortable lives, and the guard is largely ceremonial. More attention is paid to their appearance than actual combat readiness.

Nothing dull is allowed into the second circle of Vytrius.

Where the third circle is lively and warm, the second circle is often eerily quiet. It's simply more convenient to live outside the second circle, without having to worry about losing anything deemed "dull". Most of those who do live here spend most of the time in the third circle, and only reside where they do because the prices are cheaper.

Of the communities which exist entirely within the second circle, most of them have a frustratingly high opinion of themselves. They're stereotypical gated communities, except they aren't nearly as rich or beautiful as they'd like to think.

The first circle of Vytrius is not technically a circle. Instead, it is the original citadel that the rest of the city is built around.

Nothing that is not beautiful is allowed within the first circle.

The Person

To talk more about the first circle, I need to talk about who sits at its center - Vytrius.

Vytrius is a Swarmborne, at least one thousand years of age. Unlike most Swarmborne, who inhabit the bodies of convenient and numerous vermin, Vytrius has become a cloud of butterflies.

Most commonly, they appear as a swarm of butterflies in the vague outline of a man. They communicate almost entirely by telepathy, which is probably for the better - Those few that have heard their voice have described the combination of countless tiny sounds as terrifying, at best.

It is Vytrius who constructed the original citadel, Vytrius who decreed that nothing ugly was to approach them, and Vytrius who will emerge to defend the city when it is threatened.

Vytrius is also the reason for the city's legendary bureaucracy. The bureaucracy of the first circle, where many citizens earn their livelihood, has a double purpose - It keeps other people away from Vytrius, and it keeps Vytrius away from other people.

The first purpose is simple. Vytrius is quite reclusive, and really does not like disturbances to... Whatever it is they are doing in their tower.  The second purpose is a bit more obscure, but it goes like this: 
Almost everyone considers Vytrius quite mad, and a thousand year old madman with the magical power they possess isn't something anyone wants around very much. To this end, the bureaucracy was constructed so that any action Vytrius might take, they have to first wade through the miles of red tape that anyone else would endure if they wanted an audience. 
Vytrius does this voluntarily. While they are not technically ruler of the city, no one is under the illusion that they couldn't enforce their will, if they wished it. Vytrius simply obeys these rules because he thinks them to be beautiful.

And so the bureaucracy of Vytrius is an eternal balancing act. They must be keep the lord pleased with them, while simultaneously limiting his mobility. They must make sure nothing in the city rouses the lord to anger, while maintaining the almost-normalcy they've managed to create. It is not an enviable task.

Besides the bureaucracy, the first circle is a very strange place. There are rooms entirely filled with living butterflies, rooms whose walls are covered with dead butterflies, each in pristine condition, as part of Vytrius's ongoing quest to collect one of each type of butterfly that exists. There are rooms filled with illusions of butterflies, rooms filled with paintings of butterflies, the occasional butterfly-like monstrosity traversing the hallways, and that's on top of all the guards and traps Vytrius has set up to preserve his privacy and protect his collection. Really, you should always stick to the rooms the bureaucracy has cataloged.

Might make for a cool dungeon, though. Maybe even a mega-dungeon.

The Outside

At this moment, the peace of Vytrius is the most fragile it has been in years. 

Northwards, the Church of Ilysy's recent expansion shows no signs of stopping, and it seems the next place to go would be southwards, bringing them dangerously close to the city.

The city may not have been conquered before, but it is far from invincible. It's just that most would-be invaders reason that the risk of "Angry Ancient Mage of Unknown Power" isn't worth the reward of "One Pretty Nice City". 

Will the Church break this record? It is unlike them to tolerate a magic user this powerful in their territory, but the reward such an invasion would pose seems... Underwhelming.

From the hills, rumors spread that druids have begun to gather, plotting gods know what - Quite possibly invasion. 

That being said, the motivation that drives large groups of druids to actions is arcane. No one is ever quite certain why they do what they do, and if they are plotting to overthrow the city, then why now, and not hundreds of years ago?

The answers, as always, are frustratingly obscure.

Other Liches

I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!

There are more ways to immortality than just undeath, you know. Spellcasters have been trying to extend their lives since time immemorial, and they've come up with a fair few more methods and just "Become a Spooky Scary Skeleton Man".

(\\Digression - I say spellcaster, but it really means anyone. It's a ritual, and like all rituals, it's theoretically possible for anyone powerful enough to preform it, its just that most fighters and the like don't have the resources or the inclination to do the research and preparation necessary to make it happen, while that is kind of a spellcaster's whole job.)

The Worm That Walks

You're probably already aware of the Worm that Walks, but for those of you who aren't, here's the gist -

Lichdom isn't the only path towards immortality, nor are necromancers the only ones who ever seek to escape death. When an exceptionally powerful spellcaster decides that they want to preserve themselves forever, they have a whole myriad of ways to do so. I'll definitely write a post about some of the more interesting ones sometime, but that's not right now. Anyway, our future Worm that Walks decides hey, you know what's better than become immortal as a person? Becoming immortal as a bunch of fucking worms! So this individual, who is doubtlessly both sane and extremely intelligent, does some ritual left unspecified so you can come up with it, and then a bunch of worms eat his corpse, and then he takes over all the worm's minds and now he's a bunch of worms. Also, he can incorporate new worms into the mix so he doesn't die when all the original get old. 

"Worm that Walks" is a stupid name, and also an innaccurate one. I'm going to call them "Swarmborne". While still stupid, this name is at least accurate, because they don't have to be composed of specifically worms. As long as the mix is homogeneous, they can use basically any creatures, as long as they're small enough. Ants, roaches, locusts, there are even rare examples of rats, and at least one giant has transformed himself into a pack of wolves. Worms are just the most commonly used ones because worms are common, versatile, and hardy.

Transmetallics

Oh look, another thing I built off of a concept stolen from, apparently, the only blog I know.

Transmetallics are people who pursue the immortality of metal. Metal isn't technically immortal, of course, but they figure they can patch up the damaged parts and be good as new.

Theoretically, there are as many different types of transmetallics as there are metals, but most of them are steel, because steel is both strong and easily found. The dream of every transmetallic is to turn themselves into pure adamantium, but this is not something that's ever been done before. Most people would say it is either impossible or close enough to impossible that it isn't worth trying, which is why most people aren't transmetallics.

The minority who transform into mercury are almost always driven mad. It's rather hard to hold on to a coherent identity when you've just made yourself liquid at room temperature.

Burners

You know the drill.

Burners are people who link their souls to a furnace. If the flame in that furnace ever goes out, the Burner dies. As a consequence, they tend to burn a lot of things, hence the name. The flames in these furnaces consume well more fuel than they have any right to, and the requirement just gets higher the longer a Burner's life is sustained. Sustaining life takes a lot of energy, man.

The longer a Burner lives, the less they look like a human, and the more they look like a walking piece of charcoal. They can become very combustible, but because they're totally immune to fire, it tends to be a lot more dangerous to other people than it is to them. 

If you wanted to be horrible, you could have them look like an actual burn victim, but that is so genuinely horrific and disgusting to me I will not set foot anywhere near it.

The size of a Soul-Furnace varies drastically. A bigger flame means more power, but also more fuel, and a higher risk of getting noticed and being heroically slain by adventurers, or possibly just having their heads bashed in by some very angry druids.

Chainers

Chainers are people who siphon off the immortality of naturally immortal (or very long lived) creatures they manage to imprison. Most commonly, those creatures are dragons.

Despite the rituals needed being the simplest of all the immortals, Chainers are by far the rarest.

This is because only an idiot thinks they can tie up a dragon and leach immortality from it without it, breaking out and eating you, one of its friends breaking it out and eating you, or one of its enemies breaking it out and eating you.